Another brief check-in to the blog while I’m doing ok-ish and able to write a little. Had my final degree exam on Friday – it was horrible but it’s over, I’m not really sure whether I’ve done alright or not, I just don’t want to think about it or talk about it. I had a good Friday, but Saturday was just an anticlimax. I was supposed to have an interview tomorrow but it was cancelled on Friday afternoon. Well, rearranged. It’s just frustrating because I’d made plans around having to be here on Friday and Monday, i.e. paying to stay the whole weekend. I think I felt deflated and unmotivated, and just completely exhausted all over, yesterday because the way I’d planned these few days was altered and it left me feeling (once again) panicked and unprepared for the looming uncertainty of the rest of my life.
I really want to write, but I just don’t have the energy at the moment, and I’m not sure why. Writing usually helps me relax and organise the thoughts in my head – and I like to at least feel organised – but it doesn’t appear to be doing anything right now. I might check back in again later today, since it’s pouring with rain outside and all I’m doing is surfing the internet, reading, and maybe eventually thinking about some life plans. But, one step at a time.