Hey guys, meant to write a few days ago but haven’t really felt up to it recently. It’s been a pretty draining week. I spoke to my mum, which was really emotionally difficult – I’m glad I told her, and I guess it will help in the long term, but I have been dealing with this for so long and obviously all a mother wants is for her daughter to be happy and I think she thinks she can just fix it and is jumping into all this research on dealing with MH problems. And I do appreciate it, but it does feel like she’s undermining me slightly. I know she isn’t meaning to, and I know it’s difficult to relate to someone when you’ve not had those feelings, but it’s been a pretty hectic stressful week.
The reason I spoke to my mother (who told my dad, who so far has been ok – just hadn’t said much) was because I was pretty bad at the beginning of the last week, and ended up deferring an exam. This means I’ll have to take it in August, which just means dragging out my final exams for even longer, but I just didn’t feel capable of taking it. I’m in a smaller room, and I’ve got extra time, but I just got completely overwhelmed. I was unable to concentrate, feeling incredibly low and panicking a LOT. I was distracting myself by playing video games and trying to watch funny TV shows but nothing really helped. Anyway, after the stress of that, my mum came down to see me at the weekend – we had a fun day out, having lunch and shopping in town, and as of Saturday I have been ok-ish (although it’s still up and down, as always).